Reality

i know i will never be with her...
but i will always wish we could be together.
i am losing my grasp on reality...
slipping out of consciousness and into another dimension of pain.
it all started such a short time ago...
the first time i ever felt emotional pain.
i have moved on since then....
but i have closed myself off to anything coming close to it again.
i am not sure if i am truly sane anymore...
the music being the only thing keeping me from breaking.
i see things that arent really there...
wishing and hoping they were real.
visions of other's happiness...
knowing i wont allow myself to truly feel anymore.
i have become numb....
so numb that i just dont care about anymore.
thoughts of death seem pleasing...
but i know that is unfair to everyone around me.
call me what you will, go right ahead...
i wont care because most of you will ever see me again.
i will be gone from your lives forever...
never to return from the abyss of new realities